LiveWell's Steve challenges traditional ideas of masculinity and how they impact men’s health. Many men grow up with messages that discourage showing vulnerability or asking for help, which can lead to them not seeking the support and advice they need to stay physically and mentally well.

“Be a man. Don’t cry. Don’t be weak. Be strong. Brave. Tough. The provider. The protector.” 

These are the messages that many boys grow up hearing. Rules about what it takes to be a man, passed down through generations. These man rules still shape some men’s behaviour today — including how men think about their health. The pressure to live up to these expectations has always been a hidden burden. 

When it comes to health and wellbeing, if men are still consciously believing that showing weakness is being a failure and that asking for help is something that women do, then it can come at a serious cost. So, what does masculinity mean, really?  At a recent event on healthy masculinity, I was asked a question I’d never been asked: “When do you feel your most masculine?” 

"Was it...  

When I cook a meal that my kids enjoy? 

Celebrating an AFC Bournemouth goal? 

Driving, windows down, playlist? 

Or at another time entirely? 

Ask ten men, and you’ll likely get ten different answers — parenting, lifting weights, providing for family, showing respect, having a laugh with mates, being strong in tough situations. This means that masculinity isn’t one fixed thing. But outdated stereotypes are still influencing how men behave — especially when it comes to their health. Men are often seen as less likely to ignore early warning signs, get help and more likely to delay taking action until something becomes serious.  

Men say to themselves: 

• “It’ll sort itself out.” 

• “Not a priority” 

• “Ignore it and it’ll go away.” 

• “Crack on.” 

On the surface, these attitudes might seem like resilience. Stiff upper lip!  But when applied to health, they can lead to devastating outcomes. 

The reality is stark: 

• 1 in 4 men don’t reach retirement age 

• Men account for around 4 in 5 suicides in the UK 

Not asking for help — or not knowing how to — is a strategy that simply doesn’t work. 

Why men don’t speak up 

If you’ve been taught that asking for help is a sign of weakness, it’s no surprise that many men struggle to open up. For some, it’s not just reluctance — it’s a lack of confidence or skills to talk about how they feel. Some men don’t have the words because they’ve never done it before and don’t want their pride damaged. If you’ve never been encouraged to express emotions, finding the words can be difficult. Protecting ego, avoiding judgement, or worrying about how others will react all act as barriers. Instead, conversations stay surface-level — about work, sport, everyday life — while deeper thoughts are avoided. 

Things are changing 

The good news is that attitudes are shifting. More men are challenging outdated ideas of masculinity and rethinking what strength and bravery really mean — when it comes to health. We’re seeing more: 

• Openness around mental and physical health 

• Willingness to ask for support 

• Acceptance that looking after yourself is not a weakness, but strength 

Across Dorset and beyond, there are now more opportunities than ever for men to connect, talk and feel supported. Support that works for men. Many of the most effective spaces for men’s health are designed by men with profound personal stories, with men in mind — informal, welcoming and pressure-free. They don’t always start with deep conversations. Sometimes it’s just about turning up, having a chat, or being around others. 

Examples include: 

A– peer-to-peer groups offering safe spaces to talk 

Men’s Sheds – community spaces to connect, share skills and reduce isolation 

Locally, the impact is clear: 

• 1,095 men have attended Andy’s Man Clubs across Dorset this year 

• More than 750 men are members of Dorset Men’s Sheds 

• 993 men have registered with LiveWell Dorset in 2026 so far 

• 305 men have had a Health Check with the LWD community Health Check team 

These aren’t just numbers — they’re a sign of intent and represent men taking action to improve their health and wellbeing at zero cost. 

Redefining strength

There’s no single way to “be a man.” But if we strip it back, many of the traditional traits associated with masculinity — courage, bravery, resilience — can actually support better health. How can men provide and protect if our health won’t allow us to? If bad health is self-imposed, are we guilty of sitting by and allowing ourselves to get worse without being aware? 

It takes courage to: 

• Dial a number for support 

• Book a health check 

• Talk about how you’re feeling 

• Try something new and outside of your comfort zone 

Choosing to look after yourself, physically and mentally, is one of the clearest demonstrations of strength. 

Taking the first step 

Improving men’s health isn’t something that will change overnight. It takes time to challenge long-held beliefs and build new habits. But change is happening. 

More men are recognising that they don’t have to meet outdated expectations. That looking after their health doesn’t make them weak — it helps them stay well, for themselves and for the people around them. 

If this resonates with you, consider one small step: 

• Book an NHS Health Check 

• Join a local group 

• Have an honest conversation with someone you trust 

• Reach out for support 

You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to start somewhere. 

It’s okay to talk. And it’s okay to put your health first. 

Note: 

Dorset Access Wellbeing Hubs are located in Boscombe, Poole, Weymouth, and other areas like Bridport, Beaminster, Lyme Regis, and Maiden Newton. These hubs provide a welcoming space for community members to find support for various issues, including mental health and wellbeing. 

The “Reframing the conversation around Masculinity” webinar, organised by LiveWell Dorset’s partners Community Action Network and Safer BCP in April, had its largest audience ever.