Tom's story

For a long time, Tom knew his relationship with alcohol wasn’t right, but it was only after his GP asked him how much he was drinking during a routine health MOT, that he realised just how out of control it had become...

 I knew my relationship with alcohol wasn’t ideal. On the surface everything was “okay,” but underneath I was increasingly anxious and finding it hard to deal with life’s difficulties. Alcohol had quietly become my main way of coping. 

At my annual GP MOT last year, I was asked the dreaded alcohol question. I genuinely had no idea how many units I drank each week because I’d never totted it up — but I knew it was way beyond what’s recommended. That question really stuck with me. 

Around the same time, my brother-in-law died suddenly from alcohol related organ failure after getting pneumonia. It was a huge shock. It made me realise just how much damage alcohol can do, especially when it creeps up unnoticed. 

I’d grown up in a strong drinking culture — at work, socially, and when I was younger. Once you’re used to drinking regularly, it becomes very easy to pour a bit more without really noticing. Units are hard to judge, and because I wasn’t getting drunk, it didn’t feel like a problem. 

I had worked in high pressure roles in management and drinking was a way of unwinding at the end of the day. But when I retired, the drinking habit stayed.

The work stress had gone, but the anxiety and worry hadn’t — and I’d developed some unhealthy ways of managing it. By then, drinking every evening felt normal. Beer followed by three or four glasses of wine wasn’t unusual. I struggled for years.

No-one likes to admit they might be drinking too much, especially when it’s double figures every day. 

I did a bit of counting that night and I realised I was drinking about seven units a night over 6 days per week with one drink free day (on a good week), so about 45 - 50 units per week.? 

 I immediately had a few drink-free days. I had been trying for 5 years to cut down my drinking days, but the association of relaxation with having a drink made that hard. 

My surgery recommended I contact LiveWell and I did, within days of having that conversation and then got put in touch with Sally, my coach within a week. It took a bit of courage to make that first call and talk to a LiveWell Advisor, but I knew I couldn’t do this on my own. I was put in touch with Sally, my coach, within a week. 

From the start, Sally really listened. She understood the pressures of anxiety and habit without judgement. That mattered hugely because shame can be such a barrier to change. 

Through coaching, I learned that being overtired was a major trigger for me. I’d always thought wine helped me relax and sleep, but in reality, it made me fall asleep too early, then wake up tired — which led to more drinking the next day. 

Sally gave me practical tools that actually worked: 

• Delay, Distract, decide — a powerful technique that helped break automatic habits 

• Using the Drink Free Days app for accountability 

• Planning ahead for evenings 

• Finding other ways to wind down, like reading 

• Learning not to beat myself up if I had a bad day 

With Sally’s support I set my own targets and started off deciding I was going to have three drink free days a week and keep to less than 14 units a week. The whole way through I stuck to that, later reducing down further to 9-10 units a week. 

Now, I’m in a place where I feel genuinely in control. 

I did consider giving up drinking completely, but I do enjoy the taste. These days I am having the odd glass of wine, but savouring it, not just knocking it back - and zero alcohol beers. Low alcohol and alcohol-free drinks are ideal for getting all the experience of enjoying a drink without the consequences. 

The benefits have been huge. I feel far less anxious, I sleep better, I’ve lost weight and saved money. I no longer have that constant worry about my drinking. 

Being accountable to someone like Sally made a massive difference. I didn’t want to let her down – or myself. 

To anyone in a similar position I'd say please don’t be shy about getting help and support. Coaching makes a change like this so much easier than struggling on alone. You learn a lot, you feel supported rather than judged, and you realise that alcohol doesn’t have to be in control. 

I now feel calmer, healthier, and more confident in my choices — and that’s something I never thought I’d say a year ago. 

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